Share

I am inspired more and more each day by talking to people who are joining this cause. I actually had one person say to me that she wanted her child to be part of it because she felt that her daughter really needs it. She said, “So, it’s a selfish reason to want her involved.” I told her I do not want her to think or say that. That is exactly what I want. It should be “selfish” reasons for getting involved. By that, I mean I want people to do it so they can help others and/or so they can help themselves. I am starting this so that it helps and reaches people at critical times like when young girls are starting to have doubts about themselves and struggling with the way they feel.  I want it to also reach teens and adults who are already in the middle of dealing with these issues. Lastly, I want people to feel as happy with their lives and with themselves as I do in regards to abilities, personality, and appearance (well, as I’ve said, still working on this one, but I’m pretty close to total happiness). I had severe depression in high school and again as an adult. This was partly due to me keeping things in and never telling anyone the pain I was going through. 

I realized something today. For about the 10^th time since this started, I had someone say that the story I had just told her about my own self-esteem issues sounded like I was telling her story. This goes to show that many people go through similar situations and difficulties; we just don’t all talk about it. Sharing your own stories with people is so important. I kept things bottled up for a long time. I felt heavy inside. I felt that if I shared things, it would be a burden to others and it would make it all too real.

Now, I share everything and I mean, everything. I don’t walking around telling people my business, but when talking to friends or people in the community, I have no problem speaking about anything I’ve gone through in my life. If I had done this when I was not happy, it may have come off in a negative light. The negative energy and feelings I had may have reflected in the way I did it to sound more like complaining. Now, however, I talk about everything very matter of fact. I have even asked people if I ever seem like I’m complaining or upset about the things I talk about. They all say no. They say I talk about anything and that they do really believe that it does not affect me and is not a big deal. Once you start sharing things with others and getting out, you are lifting some of that heaviness out of your body. If you have pinpointed your insecurities and angers and worked on knowing where they come from and moving on, then you can speak about them with ease.  

I want to give everyone a challenge. Start sharing with those close to you. We all have things we have kept quiet about, even with those who are our closest friends and family. It could be an eating disorder, feelings about our physical appearance or our abilities, or things that happened in our past that we are ashamed or angry about. I challenge you to start share at least one thing. Find a person in your life that you fully trust and respect and share. When you speak about something, own it. Try your best to let go of any shame or fear surrounding that time in your life. Know that it was one of the steps that made you who you are today. The past is the past. There is no reason to be ashamed of it. 

You will be amazed at how you start to feel lighter and free. In addition to feeling this way, you will be starting to acknowledge these feelings and work through them. Of course, the person you share with is not a professional, so if it is something that requires that, I highly recommend you find someone to talk to, whether it's your doctor or other health professional. But starting with this person who is close to you will get things started. Here are a few resources that may be helpful for anyone struggling with eating disorders, anxiety and depression, and/or drugs. 


National Eating Disorder Association
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-help-today/
Local help:
Cambridge Eating Disorder Center
http://www.eatingdisordercenter.org/
Massachusetts General Hospital has a list here of many places for eating disorders, anxiety, and assistance
http://www2.massgeneral.org/harriscenter/understanding_boston.asp
Charlestown Substance Abuse Coalition
http://www.csac-chad.org/

I would love to hear from any of you that do start sharing and how it makes you feel. I have even noticed since this project started that I feel “lighter”. I mentioned to a close friend today and she agreed. She told me that she definitely sees and feels it from me. I’m finally starting to let go (at 32 years old) of the negative feelings I have about my appearance and I’ve never felt more alive. I want everyone to feel this way. I want to make it so that young girls do not go until they are in their 30s to feel it. I want each person involved in this to be proud of herself, believe in herself and love herself.

I’ll leave you with this quote.

BE CONFIDENT. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren’t. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are –and aren’t –that you will truly succeed.

You are all beautiful and strong,

Nicole